| It was September of my junior year, I was not into the whole "dating" scene. Sophomore year my ex had cheated on me so many times, and i just chose to ignore when people warned me. I really wasn't over it and so I didn't want to date anyone. I was helping my best friend find her phone at a friend's apartment (we'll call him Richard) because she had lost it at a party he had there. When a gorgeous tall guy walked in. I ignored him thought, he was old and so not my type. We all started hanging out and that night he was really flirty. He ended up having a few drinks and kissed me. I was absolutely shocked and didn't think he'd remember it. The next weekend the same thing happened, and the next. I finally realized he liked me. By October he was visiting me every day and making me chocolate covered strawberries. He even snuck into the midnight premiere of HSM3. He took me out for dinner for my birthday and asked me out two days later. He bought me flowers, opened doors for me, and even got texting so he could talk to me more. He told me he loved me in November and he'd loved me ever since he met me, I didn't know what to say. I felt something there but i wasn't sure I'd never been in love before, could this really be it? I finally realized it a little later on in the month, turns out I'd loved him all along too. Everything just came naturally with him, there was never an awkward moment. We could spend hours just talking, cuddling, and watching movies. He'd cook for me and we hung out every day. It was the greatest year of my life. Then reality started to hit. He moved back in with his parents for the summer and everything was great, they absolutely love me; and still do. We still keep in touch. They started looking for a new place to live in a different state and he made new friends and started partying more. we broke up at the beginning of july because he said i was "bossy", he'd never mentioned anything before. Eventually he came back partying more than ever, drinking, hanging out with different people, doing drugs, he even had a tattoo. A few weeks later i got calls from my friends telling me he was all over another girl, even thinking about it still makes me sick. I don't know she wasn't even cute. Anyway, I told him I was done and i couldn't take that. He said he was sorry and he'd also done it in October. I cried myself to sleep for several nights. He showed up at my door a few days later and was crying, he said he was sorry and he was going crazy without me. We both cried together twice within the next few days. It was so hard, he promised he'd fix us. The next few months were okay and then we started school again, his parents moved across the country and he moved on his own again. He hardly wanted to see me anymore. We broke up but were still together, we just didn't hang out everyday. My birthday came around again and we had plans to spend the day out of town with my family and the night partying. He ended up getting really drunk the night before and told me he wasn't going to go. As I was leaving he called me and said he was sorry and he went with us. It was fun, he bought me viva la juicy. We celebrated our one year anniversary even though we weren't really a couple and then we spent Halloween together. The next week i got the flu and he visited me once. He bought me a few things to drink and eat, but I didn't eat, I was too sick. The Friday after that i was feeling a bit better, we went to the movies and then the carnival. I went to sleep that night with a text message from him that said "i'll always love you, forever. you mean the world to me beautiful." The next day i had to work until 10 and his friends were having a party, i asked if we could go together and he said he didn't want me to go. I cried. Then i told him I'd been the only one trying for the past few months. i'd been buying everything for us, i'd been trying so hard to keep him happy, and make him stay. He said i was right and to leave him alone. I didn't see him for more than half of the month, he came back from visiting his parents and asked to see a movie with me. He held my hand, kissed me, opened my door, and everything was how it used to be. Then he didn't talk to me for days. We hung out again a few weeks later and the same thing happened, then the next week i bought him a movie and candy for christmas. it was a small gift, but it was something atleast. I didn't ask, nor did i get anything in return; and i didn't complain. But this time it was different he tried to back out on me and he was being a jerk but then he finally came around and hung out with me. He held my hand, but didn't kiss me, and didn't get too close. I was scared. He went out of town again for Christmas and when he came back we hung out, on Sunday. We had dinner, watched tv, and saw a movie. He was really tired from driving and fell asleep on my shoulder. Everything was like it used to be. I just wanted to stay there forever. Now here i am, and he doesn't really talk to me unless we're hanging out. I'm leaving for college next year. I'm not staying here. I want him, but I have to let him live without me. I love him with all my heart, i really do. Leaving him scares me, but I have to let fate take the wheel. |
